Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I will be naked everywhere
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
