I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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