Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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