it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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