My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
