please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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