and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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