My girlfriend figured out who you are.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
