I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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