she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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