you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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