she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
