i wish peter jackson would direct porn
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
