You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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