a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
