She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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