I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
