u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize