Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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