Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
