i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
