i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This baby is an asshole
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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