i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
