I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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