the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
