WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize