On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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