absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize