Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
