Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
