you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
