you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
