i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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