I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
