Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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