I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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