Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
