My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
