Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
