i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
