fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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