and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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