I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
