So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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