Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
