My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
