I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
