For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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