that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
