Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
