you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
