That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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