awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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