He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
