Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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