his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
