Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
