great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize