When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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