Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
