Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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