idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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