It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
