Umm I'm too high to move.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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