you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't deserve a penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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