I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
