I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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