I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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