Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
