my shit smells like andre
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize